A nutritionist was addressing a large audience in Toronto.
“The food we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us years ago,” she said. “Fast food is full of salt. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food can be loaded with MSG. There are trans fats in snack foods, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the bacteria in our drinking water.”
“But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”
From the back row came an elderly voice.
Funnies for Foodies #2
On the head table in the cafeteria, one of the nuns set a big bowl of large, shiny, bright red apples. Beside the bowl, she placed a note which read, “Please take only one. Remember, God is watching.
At the other end of the table was a bowl of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, still warm from the oven.
Beside the bowl was a note scrawled in a child’s handwriting. It read, “Take all you want. God’s watching the apples.”
Funnies for Foodies #1
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts which he gratefully accepts and enjoys.
After about 15 minutes she taps him on his shoulder again, and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch, he asks her, “Why don’t you eat the peanuts yourself?”
“We can’t chew them because we have no teeth,” she replies.
Puzzled, the driver asks, “Then why do you buy them?”
The old lady replies, “We just love the chocolate around them.”